Bugs

So, this girl I'm dating now is totally into jewelry, and, in particular, rings. But it's OK, I'm not talking about gold or diamond things, Lord knows there is no way in the world I could afford that right now, but I'm talking about really interesting rings. Her favorite is this big plastic ring she has that encases a big dead green bug. She also has this other ring that's a big black spider. The more I think about it, the more I'm starting to believe she has an interesting fascination with creepy crawlies on her. I mean, bugs, spiders...I should get her a live millipede and tie its head to its butt and make a bracelet for her. That might be a little high maintenance though. I mean, she would have to feed and water it, other wise it would die and shrivel up and then it might get really tight on her wrists and cause her to lose feeling in her phalanges. Then her digits would fall off and we would have to go in and operate to amputate her hand, and I don't want to sound insensitive or whatever, but I don't know how much sympathy I could possibly have for someone who would attach a live millipede to their wrist for the sake of incredible jewelry. And, furthermore, I don't want to be called shallow (or an asshole) but I don't know how I would feel about dating a girl with only one hand because she lost the other in a terrible, freak jewelry incident where a grotesque creature gave its last breath for the sake of beauty. For now I think I'll just stick to purple flower rings from JC Penny's.